What John Gray says about Girlfriends...

Why is gathering with girlfriends good for one's emotional well-being overall?
Oxytocin is the bonding hormone and research shows that oxytocin is the primary hormone in a woman's body that is responsible for helping her cope with stress effectively.  Friendships between women appear to stimulate oxytocin to greater levels as women tend to nurture each other when they get together, particularly on girlfriend getaways.

Why is it better to get away with just women (as opposed to a general group of friends)?

  • Women often want to just talk, so in a setting of all women, no one is there to "solve the problem" which is typically the role of men. So, women are free to express themselves, which relaxes them by decreasing the serotonin levels and increasing the oxytocin levels.
  • A true sense of nurturing and bonding is what ultimately balances the chemicals, so this is the ideal setting.

How does the exclusive same-sex group help in this way?

  • Women tend to be able to relax more in the company of other women, which reduces stress and strengthens their emotional well being. Women also tend to open up more when in the company of female friends, rather than in a mixed group.
  • Today women's lives are filled with testosterone with so many working mothers juggling and coping with the stress of children, school, households and trying to balance the never-ending list. With the addition of so much more testosterone, it has created a chemical imbalance for women. We did not see throughout history because women were typically in a community setting and working together to raise children and look after the household. It was this community environment with other women that maintained the oxytocin levels, reduced serotonin and resulted in a more well-balanced woman. That is not the case today. So if we replicate the "community of women" then we are re-introducing the element that puts balance back in their lives...it's scientifically based.
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